Thursday, December 21, 2006


I woke up today. That's enough. Really, it is.

But then I decided to go into town. I live in China Spring, a suburb if you will, of Waco TX.

The drive is not long. I usually enjoy it. I set the tone of my day with music: today it's Bowling for Soup (Come Back to Texas).

And then I made a fatal mistake: I decided to go to Wal*Mart. Now, I went to this place, which shall hereafter be referred to as Hell, yesterday. But I needed some stuff so I said, What the hay??, I'll just go today, it can't be that bad, it's a Thursday afternoon.

I was wrong.

Hell was full of people; mostly children under the age of 12. Many were screaming and running amok. Now I don't usually go to Hell on a regular basis. I prefer Target instead; but sometimes only Hell has what you really want. So, I compromised; and I instantly regretted it.

There must have been thousands of people (I'm not joking) who went to Hell today. I could not even navigate my shopping cart, which I've found to actually have a pretty sharp turning radius. I was shoved by two unintentioned children, one surly teenager, and someone's grandma. I went to the checkout and even the self-checkout line extended to Timbuktu.

So, I abandoned my efforts and returned home, defeated. I did not buy anything; I just left. I couldn't take it anymore: the madness, the screaming, the swearing - and that was just on my part; the other people in Hell were much worse.


Tony said...

that's great!!! dang people at know when i read that I said "JONATHAN WENT TO WALMART!!! HE HATES THAT PLACE!" That's so does have cheaper prices than target which is usually why I go...but Target is much cleaner, and good smelling too.

Chris said...

I too prefer Target. But Target in Oz is not the same as Target in the States, and that makes me sad. I pine for the American Target, where I know that I can find (read: the merchendise is not stacked in random piles) affordable, stylish clothing that fits and doesn't fall apart.

tunz said...

I have found that hell is a lot better at 3 am. There are fewer children and the adults are fun to watch. Try it sometime.