Wednesday, May 31, 2006


I remember reading the book of Revelation for the first time when I was in seventh grade. The weird imagery just didn't seem to make any sense. Until I read some stuff my Hal Lindsey and the Left Behind series. I allowed them to dictate my understand of Revelation for years. I figured it took a mind greater than mine to understand what this book meant and what it was saying, so I allowed someone else to interpret Revelation for me. However, things have changed in recent years. I discovered that Revelation was not meant for the few to interpret for others, but for everyone to understand upon their reading it. John wrote to the masses and they understood what he was saying. They didn't need to rely on a few who had it all figured out.

So, what's the key to understanding Revelation? Genre. Genre is rarely mentioned in most modern commentaries on Revelation, but it is THE key in understanding the text. John's contemporaries would have understood this, and therefore would have understood what the book of Revelation meant.

The genre of Revelation is apocalypse. Apocalypses were common throughout the ancient world. There were both Jewish and Christian Apocalypses that John's audience was familiar with, including: Daniel 7-12, 1 Enoch, Ascention of Isaiah, the War Scroll, the Sibilene Oracles, the Shepard of Hermas, and others. John drew on imagery from these apocalypses in Revelation, but he is addressing different issues than these other works. In other words, John uses the symbols in these apocalypses, but he is not talking about he same things they are.

Revelation CANNOT be read literally, because it is an apocalypse. Apocalypses are, by definition, works made up of symbolic meaning. But how are we supposed to interpret these symbols? Well, John clearly means for his audience to understand what he's written: so he either explains what the symbols mean (7 lampstands = 7 churches) or he assumes he audience will understand the symbols based on their knowledge of these other apocalypses. We are not simply to make up the meaning of these symbols out of thin air. If read in context with other ancient apocalypses, Revelation's symbols are no longer mysterious. I am not "spiritualizing" Revelation by reading it symbolically, as some have charged. Reading Revelation symbolically is doing what the genre demands, if we are to understand it. John was clearly aware he was writing in the Apocalyptic tradition (1.1). And in writing an apocalypse, John wrote symbolically.

When read in the light of other apocalypses, Revelation is not a book of hidden meaning, it is a call for Christians to resist assimilation into a larger pagan culture and remain faithful to only God.

Also in this series

Monday, May 29, 2006

This Is A Real News Story...

(5/28/06 - CORDELIA, CA) - Supermarket tabloids, take note: Researchers in California claim to have a duck X-ray showing what appears to be an -- ahem -- alien creature in the bird's stomach.

The International Bird Rescue Research Center in Cordelia plans to raise funds with the X-ray.

The bird came in with a broken wing. But when assistant manager Marie Travers radiographed the duck, she was stunned to see a very clear image of what supposedly looked like the face, or head, of an extraterrestrial.

Unfortunately, the duck died of its injuries.

Initial reports from the center claimed the cause of the supposed alien face was never determined. Necropsy results are pending.

It may all sound like a lot of quackery, but the center has come up with a way to turn its close encounter into a fundraiser for the center. It will auction off the X-ray on eBay.

(Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved.)


Saturday, May 27, 2006


What is "prophecy"? Throughout all of scripture there must be a common definition of what "prophecy" means. From the prophets of the Old Testament to "prophesying" in the worship centers of the Early Church, the word prophecy never changed meaning. It was not until recent times that prophecy has taken on a meaning different than the one reflected in the Biblical tradition.

There, in fact, is a definition of prophecy consistent throughout the Bible. "Prophecy" does not mean to foretell the future; prophecy means to tell-forth God's truth. Prophecy is not a crystal ball with which we can see future events; prophecy is the proclamation of God's word. In other words - it means to preach God's will and truth. We see men and women "prophesying" in the NT.

In the OT, prophecy worked much the same way. Ironically, those who propose a definition of prophecy that it predicts the future, ignore the vast majority of OT prophecy. Most OT prophecy is EX EVENTU Prophecy (literally, prophecy after the fact). Most of the telling of events by the prophets, actually happened AFTER the event occured. For example, they would explain WHY something happened (e.g., because Israel did evil in the sight of God). In the rare event where a prophet would tell of an event in the future, it was almost always conditional - IF Israel did something, THEN God would bless/punish the action, whatever the case may be.

In the Bible, the purpose of prophecy is to speak the word or message of God.

People who call themselves "Prophecy Scholars" are anything but. They do not recognize that the purpose of prophecy is to make God's truth known, not give an outline of the future. Yet this is the common defintion of prophecy throughout the Bible. The prophets are charged with making God's truth and will known - not seeing the future like some kind of psychic. And it is the same with books of the Bible containing prophecy.

If Revelation is a book of prophecy (a title it claims for itself), then the purpose of the Book of Revelation is NOT to predict the future, but to make God's truth known.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Chew on this...

In an earlier post I said I was going to begin discussing the whole End-Times/666 phenomena here at the Cruz-Control. My reasons for this include The Omen (about a devil-incarnate child) opening in theaters, and the upcoming release of the latest Left Behind novel: The Rapture on June 6, 2006 or 06/06/06.

The way mainstream Christianity now views the "End-Times" is quite different from as soon as a century ago. Many Christians believe wholeheartedly the theology of the Left Behind novels. It's author, Tim LaHaye, has spoken as well as written extensively on "prophecy." Since most evangelical (whatever that means) Christians hold to this eschatology (theology of the Last Things/End Times), Left Behind novels are selling, and movies like The Omen will accomplish their goal of scaring the mess out of the church-going public.

This man didn't like his license plates because of their first three digits. My great-grandmother actually had her social security number changed because it contained three 6's in a row. I will discuss the issue of Anti-Christ and the number 666, along with other elements of Left-Behind eschatology (known as Premillenial Dispensationalism) soon. I spent a great deal of time over the past year digging into this whole thing, including the meaning of the book of Revelation. I found answers with the help of a great scholar, Dr. Charles H. Talbert. I hope to share what I've learned with you. Revelation is one of my absolute favorite books in the Bible.

In the meantime, here's some hype about the upcoming date 06/06/06: CLICK HERE.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Dear Mr. Tire-Slasher,

I would like to offer a sincere thank you for what you've done for my left-rear tire. Your artistry and craftsmanship are astounding. The deep gashes going from the top to bottom of my tires, could not have been made by anyone but you. It's your handiwork, what can I say?

But my burning question is: why? Was it because I drive an SUV? Was it because you don't like Woody from Toy Story hanging from my rear-view mirror? I know; it was because of the Baylor sticker on my windshield. You're probably one of those UT jerks, or even more so - one of those A&M jerks!!!! No, I'm sorry. I didn't really mean that - that's just me venting. In reality I forgive you. I even love you - I mean I have to (Mat 22:39). But still I do.

So Mr. Tire-Slasher, if you happen to read the Cruz-Control, I thank you that I must spend my next paycheck to buy new tires. And if you decide to slash them again, maybe while I'm at church, I invite you to come inside and join me... I won't hurt you. I promise. I'm a pacifist.

Yours truly,
Jonathan Cruz

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

"None of this is real!"

This was one of the lines in the preview for this week's Lost. It's the Season 2 Finale. There aren't many shows that draw me in to the point that I HAVE to see the next show. In fact, aside from the news, I don't watch much TV at all. But thanks to the genius writers, and the magic of TiVo, I have become addicted to Lost. I can watch it when and if I have time. However, lately I've found myself MAKING time for this show.

The quote above (in the title of the post) is said by Locke. This has been an idea I've entertained since the episode a few weeks ago about Hurley. Maybe none of it is real; the whole show is in someone's mind. Also, I have a bone to pick with this past weeks episode about Michael. Ms. Clue gives Michael a list, on which four names are written. On that list is "Hugo Reyes." Only one other time in this show when Hurley referred to as "Hugo," is when Michael approaches him while he's digging Libby's grave. The rest of the time in this show, Michael calls him Hurley. I thought his name IS Hurley... why call him Hugo? This makes no since.

Also the issue with the numbers. This is one of the strangest things about this show. Hurley/Hugo (see my frustration above) won the lottery with these numbers, that were repeated by a man in a mental hospital over and over. They happen to be the same numbers in the Dharma Experiment, used to keep the world from blowing up, and a host of other things. I don't know; it's just weird.

You Lost addicts have any theories about The Others? I think that maybe they were the original lab rats of the Dharma Initiative, but somehow overthrew their experimenters. Now they are doing experiements on our friends. But what's the deal with the List. Not a good person - not on the List: what the heck is that all about?

If do don't watch Lost and you've read all the way through this post, I commend you. I know it's hard to get into if you don't watch every show, but you can always rent or buy the seasons on DVD; you won't regret it. This really is one of the best shows I've ever seen. It makes you think; most TV shows don't.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Ants 15462, Cruz 0

I itch! I can't stop scratching!!! I went with the RA's on a camping trip. Our church is big on camping. Anyways, I got attacked by an army of ants (one of whom is pictured here!) sometime between my going and coming from the Greater Waco area. Not good... I'm gonna go scratch some more...

Friday, May 19, 2006

Sub Rosa

Well, today the Da Vinci Code Movie comes out. I'm busy tonight, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see it. Over the past few weeks the blogs have been astir about the upcoming movie and novel by Dan Brown. Shlog, Ethos, Stonecypher, and Brian McLaren have all weighed in, facilitating discussions. Overall these discussions have been helpful. No matter what one's position is, it is healthy to discuss and question, thereby growing.

First and foremost, DVC is a fiction book - at least that's the section of Barnes & Noble I got found it in. It was not in the Religion/Theology section. The back cover labels it 'fiction,' as well. It's a great book with a riveting story line that will make you sit on th edge of your seat (as you're reading it!).

Many Christians have been in an uproar about this book since its publication in 2003. The idea that Jesus was married to Mary Magdeline is blasphemous according to many Christians. Therefore, they contend that the proper solution, if one cannot ban DVC from the theaters (yes, I've heard this argument actually made), is to boycott the movie and hold seminars in Church's exposing the blasphemous nature the novel. American Family Radio (AFR) has been broadcasting that one not even need to read the book or see the movie to understand its defamitory nature and speak out against it.

But I have a fundamental question that I must raise. Why is it blasphemous for Jesus to have been married? In what way does this defame Jesus? Does it erase his divinity? I don't think so; I think it would only strengthen his humanity. Theologians use the terms High Christology and Low Christology to describe where Jesus's divinity and his humanity are shown, respectively. Several places in the NT give us a very Low Christology, meaning they give us good evidence for Jesus's humanity. I'm not saying he was married. I'm just saying that is is neither incoceivable nor blasphemous to entertain the idea that he was.

The second issue: the rep as a whore. Some contend that what makes this whole scenario blasphemous is that suggesting that Jesus married Mary of Magdala was saying that he married a whore, therefore it's blasphemous. I have a problem with this for two reasons. Mary Magdeline was label a whore by the Church, when female influences where being suppressed. Because of the place of her story in the Biblical text, it has been assumed that she was a whore. But in reality there is no textual basis for this conclusion about Mary. My second problem with this position is: so what if she was a whore. Jesus's best friends were drunks and theives. When they met him, they became new people. So what is so demonizing about suggesting that Jesus had intimate friendships, or romantic relationships, with ex-"sinners"?

I think DVC is an opportunity for Christians to educate themselves about what the Bible says, or in many cases does not say. The vast majority of Jesus's life is NOT covered in the four gospels. The Bible DOES NOT tell us everything about Jesus. I think seminars in churches are a good think, but not to bash a book no one has read, but to open up dialogue that builds UP faith, and does not tear it down. When FAITH is the most important thing in your relationship with God, issues like this don't scare you, they encourage you.

Christians should be open to dialogue about the theological implications of book, albeit a fiction one - because whether we like it or not, there will be some. Standing in front of a theater with a picket sign will not endear many movie-goers to ask the questions that may be raised by this movie or novel. Christians should expel truth, but not about of hate or fear, but out of love. I've read the book: it's entertaining and good. I will watch the movie hoping for the same. And I think all Christians should, because it should not be Jesus's marital status that defines their relationship with him.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Blogging Blitz

First and foremost: THANK YOU TO ALL WHO READ THE CRUZ-CONTROL. I would have no reason (or fun) blogging without yall reading my ramblings and cogitations. So, THANK YOU!!!!

You see, blogs are like puppies (pictured here) - they require nuturing and care; without these they die. To keep them growing and healthy, one needs to blog often, at least every other day - preferably eveyday. Finding a niche in the internet community is also dependent on frequent updates. Also blogs must be interesting (if not entertaining), if they are to grow. I try my best to fulfill this requirement here on the Cruz-Control. I don't find it interesting to know who's dating who, etc. (especially about people I don't know), so I will not bore you with stuff like that here at the Cruz-Control. (Also, because I don't care to know enough about this myself.)

Links are also of considerable importance. Links integrate a blog into the world wide web; they increase readership, centralize topics for discussions and provide a cohesivness to this thing called a weblog community. IF YOU LINK TO THE CRUZ-CONTROL AND I DON'T ALREADY LINK TO YOU, LET ME KNOW. I will reciprocate all links.

Finally if you don't have a blog, I recommend getting one. It's a great way to vent, ponder and declare ideologies you otherwise would think to claim. You will use you brain when you write a blog. You can personalize your page with spiffy hosts such as Blogger and Typepad. Most are free; but don't do Xanga. If you do (yes, this IS a threat!), I will ridicule and taunt you for many moons to come.

Some good blogs I've discovered recently you might want to check out: Halpinator (on Blogger) and Redeeming the Mind.

The first several on my "Flippin' Sweet Blogs" link list are really good stuff too. Check them out. Again, thanks for your ears (or rather your eyes).

P.S. If you're stressed, check out this site - I can't stop going to it!!!! (Thanks to TUNZ4JESUS for this link!)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


This is what my friend Shari calls the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The first time I recall hearing about the Trinity, I was a five year old chewing on those little offering pencils and then trying to stick them in my sister's ear. It was explained to me that just like a person could be a son, father, and brother at the same time, so could God. I was never satisfied with this analogy; I'm still not. We often try to put the Trinity into some kind of explainable equation. I don't think this is either possible or wise.

It can never suffice to place God into a simple formulae that we can teach children, or ourselves for that matter. It is simply not possible. It also does not give God the credit of who He is. Christianity has its roots ingrained in the idea that Jesus was God and the Father YHWH of the Old Testament is God and the Holy Spirit sent to dwell in us is God as well. But God is one god in all these fashions. I don't have the Trinity all figured out; nor will I ever (I don't think). But I do know that Jesus, the man who walked on this earth 2000 years ago, was God. He had the authority of the Almighty Creator. Yet, He prayed to the Father, who is also the same God. Confused yet? So am I.

So, how do we explain the Trinity, a concept so important to Christianity, to children? I don't know. I know that my understanding of the Trinity, as a child, placed God in very two dimensional terms. But I'm sure that those were the only terms I was capable of thinking in as a child. But maybe the discussion of the Trinity should be opened up, debated, questioned, reinforced, and cherished by modern Christians. It just seems like we accepted it as converts, but the seeking and questioning just never occurred.

I can't pretend to discuss the Trinity with any kind of knowledge, because frankly, even from my personal experience, it exists - but it's not understandable. I have questioned and sought to understand this aspect of the nature of God, but I cannot say that I've reached anywhere near a full understanding of what the Trinity is. I can only be a man of faith when it comes to the Trinity. It's part of God's nature which we CANNOT fully understand; but trying to fully grasp one facet of an incomprehensible god is worth Christians discussing and learning from one another. I don't have the answer, but contemplating it seems to bring me closer.

P.S. When I ran the spell check for this post [yeah, bet ya couldn't tell I spellcheck ;-)], it tried to replace YHWH with YAHOO - NOT the same thing!!!!

Monday, May 15, 2006

(Almost) Mid-Week Musings

Well, I did it: I joined a gym. This should inspire you!! It has been occupying a considerable bit of my time the past few days, actually, but it's a lot better than spending my afternoons with my X-Files DVD Box Set. This afternoon I did 6.75 miles on the cardio-stuff and some weights. I'm really tired now. I've got some more theology and stuff I've been mulling over the past few days, but I'm still trying to formulate it into understandable posts. So in the meantime, here's a random picture of a sign Marc and I saw in a burger place on a road trip we took Friday. Also here's a sneak-peek of what's to come on the Cruz-Control:

1) This Friday, the Da Vinci Code Movie is coming out. I can't wait to see it. I'm finishing the book for a second time. I will drop my two cents into the coffers of intellectual discussion here on blogger before the week is out.

2) In less than a month, we will experience the date June 6, 2006 or 6.6.06 (or 666). On this day, Hollywood is releasing The Omen, about a child who is the devil-incarnate (I wonder if the children I work with... no, sorry, nevermind!). Anyways, the child is this anti-Christ figure and the movie is opening on the date. As is the latest in the Left Behind novels; "Rapture" is to be released on this day as well. NBC's Inside Edition has aired a series on the implications of a date containing three 6's. So, with all the talk of the End Times that is about to be unleashed, I will offer my insight, albeit a scholarly one on the Last Things. Topics will include anti-Christ and the number 666. So stay tuned, especially if you like Left Behind, because I used to like it too... once.

Saturday, May 13, 2006


Yes, you read correctly - Jesus was a hater. But he did not hate the same things that many of his followers hate; he did not condemn many of the things his followers have condemned. But he was a hater.

Jesus hated something that most don't even consider worth noting, certainly nothing we find worth preaching against. Jesus hated when people filled their hearts with things. Jesus hated so see people in spiritual anguish because they filled that Daddy-shaped place in their hearts with money, with prestige, with religion. Jesus hated to see people taken a need placed in our lives by God and trying to fit a man-made concept to plug the hole in their hearts.

However, Christians are not hating what Jesus hated. Christians are instead known for hating things like being "anti-gay," something Jesus never addressed. Christians are not hating when we see others try to fill their lives with stuff. We do not hate it when we see people trying to fill that Daddy-shaped hole in their hearts with money. And we Christians almost always ignore it fellow "Christians" try to do the same thing. Jesus hated just as much when the Pharisees and scribes tried to fill that spot with religion. Many Christians today still think we can do this - if we get enough religion, it will fill that hole in the middle of our hearts.

But that hole can only be filled with a relationship, an intimate relationship with our Creator. So why don't Christians hate what Jesus hated and do everything in our power to see that people get to see the relationship instead of religion? Why don't we preach that money can't fill that hole, that power can't fill that whole - instead of pursuing money and power ourselves?

Hating what Jesus hates does not mean that Christians should hate certain groups of people, it means just the opposite. It means Christians LOVE; love to a point where we want nothing else but to see people's hurting extinguished, their thirsts quinched. And to a point where we HATE to see people put themselves through the agony of filling a God-sized hole in their hearts with stuff. 'Little Christs' should love to such an extreme that we become haters as well.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Funny Part III: Add a Caption

Add a caption to this photo under comments.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

A Pacifist's Response

This is my response to this post and the comments that ensued.

I am a Hauerwas 'ilk' as douglas puts it. I'm a "anti-realist' pacifist as you put it. Frankly, I had a lot of stuff to work out before I committed to my conviction. I researched scripture, read ethics, studied history, and most importantly prayed. I wrote my final exegetical paper in NT Studies this semester on Matthew 5:38-48.

I believe that Christ did in fact call his FOLLOWERS to lives of nonviolence - he was not commanding everyone to such a life (he never did so with any of his teachings; he only gave instructions to those who wanted them) . And furthermore, I believe he demonstrated a life of nonviolence. I realize by death on a cross that he was atoning for our sins, but that doesn't invalidate the madates he gave on the Mount of Olives. I do agree with you that pacifists should do a better job of explaining their conclusions from scripture. I don't think that most however are skillful exegetcists. Most people think that it's some kind of a political thing, or even an emotional thing... but the pacifism I hold, I firmly believe in in scripture. It took me nearly 20 pages to write my exegesis on this passage... and I cut it short. But I have done the work and research (Greek and all)... and I DO believe that Christians are commanded to live lives holding to principles of nonviolence, if for no other reason than because it's what Jesus commanded.

Also, I must beg the question as to why I am labeled a nonrealist. I recognize that the Matthean community, and Jesus, were contextualizing everything within an eschatalogial framework. However, despite the reason that the Coming Good Age has not yet arrived, the Kingdom of God is at hand. So, why would it be unreal to obey the mandates of Christ. The only reason I could understand that we are 'nonrealists' is if you take us in the context of today's society and judge us from that viewpoint. However, Jesus said that his kingdom was not of this world. Therefore, we cannot judge ourselves and our actions in this regard, i.e., according to this temporary earthly standards. Futhermore, as Paul writes in Philipians: our citizenship is in Heaven. Throughout the NT, Christians are expected to hold to behavior that is not condusive to life in this world.

For example, in the book of Revelation, Christians were facing imminent persecution if they did participate in emperor worship (Rev. 13). But what does John say, "Well, it's not REALISTIC to hold to first commandment faithfulness, because if you do, you'll be killed"??? NO! He says that Christians are to nonviolently resist emperor worship, even unto death (Rev. 13.10). John didn't allow debate as to whether following the commands of God was REALISTIC or not. He simply said follow them.

But yes, I agree that proper exegesis is necessary when defending the pacifist conviction, and more pacifists should do so. But I must also ask why it's necessary to defend my "anti-realist" pacifist tendencies. It's like asking someone to defend their notion that Christians should love one another. Well, I offer the same two reasons 1) Commanded to do so by Christ, and 2) Demonstrated by Christ. I think the Early Church's pacifist tendencies were the CORRECT interpretation with regard to the issue of nonviolence, and it's just about come full circle, now the pacifists are the ones that must prove their conviction... ironic?, I'd say so.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Big Bird Flu

Last night, ABC tried to scare the mess out of its audience by killing of 25 million people in its made-for-TV movie Fatal Conflict: Bird Flu in America. They tried to convince us that the Avian Bird Flu could wipe out civilization as we know it. They tried to convince me that my life would never be the same if the goverment didn't come up with a plan and SOON for this Bird Flu pandemic that's inevitable.

But to be honest I think we're barking up the wrong tree, so to speak. I don't think what we should be most concerned about is the potential Bird Flu that MIGHT plague us. I think we should be concerned with the pandemic that ALREADY affects children, and it's been infecting right in front of our faces for the past several decades and no one has done anything about it! I'm talking about the Big Bird Flu. This is the infection that makes kids go nuts anytime they see or hear anything about Big Bird. It's madness, I say! It's the Big Bird, not the Avian Bird (which is redundant, isn't it: Avian-Bird?), that we should try to prevent from infecting people. ABC should do a made-for-TV drama about the REAL problem!... just my opinion.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

More Funny: The Nature of the Robust Beard

Robust beards have long been a part of mens' faces, throughout history, in fact. Here are some pictures of some Robust Beards; see if you can guess who they belong to. Hint: each person is someone's hero and someone's worst nightmare.

Robust Beard Number 1

Robust Beard Number 2

Robust Beard Number 3

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Here's Some Funny: "I Sell Propane"

This has been floating around the blogs lately. It's a clip from a King of the Hill (a terrific show, I might add) episode where Hank and his family are looking for a new church, because of a 'pew' conflict.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Long Days, Longer Nights


I looked at him like he had eaten my last animal cracker. And I was in no mood for this!


"CURSES!" I replied.

Sorry, let me start at the beginning. It has been a couple of crazy past few days. I know I was going to do funny the next few blogs, but I'll do those next. Yesterday, Friday I had two finals - Economics in the morning, English in the afternoon. After answering 75 questions (not too bad) and writing a six page paper in 2 hours, exhaustion consumed me.

But the day was not over... our church had a Kids' Night Out, a fun time when the kids come up to the church on a Friday night and run amok for 4 hours. I always work these nights - kids are cool, sometimes. Actually the kids were great last night. The past few times we've had to have an exorcist on standby because they acted demon-possessed. But I digress... last night was great! I just had the brain power of an goat (goats aren't typically known for their unwavering intellect).

So, I came home, hoping to grab some grape soda and this week's THE OFFICE on my TiVo; but instead I was interrupted by a weather bulletin. A storm was berring down on the Waco area. Sirens went off. The Cruz-Control panicked. I was already running on auto-pilot at 5:30 when KNO started. Now, my relaxing evening was GONE! I listened to Mr. Weatherman order me into my shower to take shelter from the three rotating circulation systems right on top of Waco (pictured above). So I grabbed my cell phone, by wallet, and well, my guitar. I figured I'd write a song in the down-time. The winds tore some shingles off the roof, hail pounded the windows. The funny thing was that the tornado siren sounds an awful lot like the freight train sound you hear with a tornado. Not good for the nerves. Anyways, things finally calmed down and I was able to fall asleep at 3:30am.

But I had to wake up at 7:00am to get to the church for our youth group's car wash. I was lucky, I just held the sign for a while. After 3 and a half hours' sleep, it was a rough morning. Also it rained again this afternoon. People look at you funny when you try to hold a car wash in between to thunderstorms. Anyways, I must sleep now! You'll get funny soon, I promise.

btw, the exorcist thing was a joke =)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Goliath Is Gathering Steam

Finals start today. It's actually about 1:45am and I'm delaying going to bed as much as possible because I know one awaits me upon my awakening. It's crunch-time - stress-time. If I can get through the next week, or actually until Monday with my sanity intact, I'll be alright. But my goliath seems pretty strong right now. I've got 1 essay, 3 essay tests, and 2 multiple-guess tests. Mucho studying to come... blog on some cool stuff with great meaning after finals. Til then, you'll get some random and hopefully funny posts.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Created to Ponder

I watch the sky differently today, knowing that beyond the blue canvas God painted is another world that infinitely stretches across this universe. A world of galaxies in which I am but a small speck. A world entirely created by God. A world loved by God.

And I question why I was made. Why God chose this planet to put me on? Why God had my life cross with those so many great people? Why God still answers my prayers the way he does? Why he still listens to my ramblings? Why God loves me? I can't fathom his creation; so how can I fathom God's love?

But dark thoughts still stir inside of me, and everyone else. I must question why the nations rage at one another? Why children die of starvation? Why girls are raped and men are murdered? I don't understand. There are things in my life that I feel I have gained a greater understand of - by the sole grace of God. But this is not one of them.

I don't understand WHY, to so many questions. So many plague my mind... And the answers always seem to contradict one another.

But still, I can't help but believe that God not only allows these questions to be asked, but that he invites them, encourages them. I can't help but believe that I was created to ponder these things.