ANCIENT DIARY: THURSDAY

Thirty pieces of silver. That's what the Chief Priests said they'll give me for him. Thirty pieces of silver, that's the going price of an average slave. Turn my Rabbi over to the others for the price of a common slave? Then again wouldn't I be defending the Jewish tradition, if the problems Jesus is causing are as bad as they say? I mean, wouldn't it be my duty as a pius Jew to turn Jesus of Nazareth over to them?

I still don't know if I did the right thing. Tonight was our passover meal. Things went different this time than they usually do. Jesus did this weird thing, where as he passed around the wine and bread, he said that the wine was his blood and the bread was his body. It kind of made sense and it kind of didn't. Later on, he turned to me and said to go ahead and do what I was going to do. It wasn't until he said that that I realized I had made up my mind to take the money. I decided to turn Jesus over to the high priests. But how did he know? I figured I could get some money out it, be a pius Jew, and well, come on what are they going to do to him? fine him? put him in prison for a little while? It just gets me, how Jesus knew, that's what I was going to do? I ran out mainly out of embarrasment that he knew I was going to turn him in. But I ran out knowing I'd still turn him over, despite the fact that he knew it was me.

But you know, as I think about it, what I can't get past, was that my Rabbi washed my feet. A while back, Jesus knelt down and did the most humiliating job possible. I didn't understand it then, and frankly I don't understand it now. But in that moment, when he washed my feet, I realized he was different. That's why I'm still wondering if I did the right thing turning him over to the high priests.