I've gone through several stages, emotionally, in my recovery from this weekend's accident. One of the issues I've had to deal with is anger.
The accident was a hit-and-run. The person who sent my SUV rolling on a bridge, and presumably left me for dead was never found. He or she didn't stop.
Ironically, I don't think I'd be as calm about this if I knew who it was. If I knew who it was, I'd be very angry, as opposed to just angry. Because then I could point a finger (I won't say which one) at the face of someone who didn't care if I lived or died. I could understand exactly what inebriated the driver of the other vehicle and I could ask why was the other driver so wreckless against me. And why they didn't stop???!!!
I've struggled with the idea that someone would see my car roll several times, and leave me for dead, as there was no way of anticipating my survival from such an accident.
But I can deal more easily with this amorphous figure of 'somone' as opposed to someone specific. And I'm still angry.
But we bless those who hurt us and love those who curse us. We don't respond in violence or even anger, but in submission and humility. We forgive. I'm not quite there yet; but I'm desperately working on it.
And honestly, I'm so thankful to be alive, it really has overshadowed what negative feelings I'm experiencing about the accident.
But that's just a part of being human - and alive, I suppose.