Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Used Car Salesmen are the bane of my existence.... OK wait a minute, I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, I'm trying to find another car. I miss my 2001 Jeep Cherokee Sport terribly, but we must bury the past in the past and move on, right?

So, I'm looking for a car.

And it's the same story with every car dealer I've visited.

"Hello!!! Are we looking for a car today?!!!" Mr. Salesperson asks.

No, we aren't looking for anything. I am looking for an new auto. I say to myself.

"Well, today's your lucky day."

No, it really isn't. I was my lucky day at the last three car dealers I visited. And so, it's not my lucky day here because, well, I just never get that lucky.

"We're running a special today on that very car you've been looking at."

No, you're not.

"I'll make you a really good deal on the price!!!"

No, you won't. You need to make a buck, and I need a new car, so lets just cut the mustard and get down to business. You won't make me a deal on anything. So, just quit trying to sucker me and let's talk hard numbers.

But see, that's the problem, very few car dealers want to talk about a definite asking price upfront. Most want me to test drive, and fall in love with a car and go to the wedding before even finding out the last name, metaphorically speaking of course.

They want me to get all happy about the car and then "go inside to do the paperwork" and everything before I even get a definite price on what I'd be paying. Seriously. I'm not stupid. I'm not going to buy a car without knowing how much it costs beforehand.

But this is the story I get at dealer after dealer.

I've got a headache.

I'm test driving at least two cars tomorrow; I did three today.

Maybe I should just buy a bright red sportcoat and go up to the salesmen and freak them out. It'd be like the time I went through a haunted house and ran up to and yelled at the goblins before they could come up and scare me. I freaked them out pretty bad. I thought it was funny.

NOTE: If you are a used car salesmen, Jonathan does not mean to defame you, your name, or your business. Unless you were among those who were trying to sucker him into paying a highly inflated price for a car that will break in a week, in which case Jonathan meant every word. Otherwise, give Jonathan a call... 'cause he still needs a car. Jonathan also reserves the right to speak in the third person.


tony said...

"jonathan reserves the right to speak in the third person" you have every right to...dang car need to put on ragity clothes like bill cosby did in that one episode of the cosby show :-)

tunz said...

You can skip the middle man. Do you have a mechanic friend? Have him help you scour the papers and find a gem. Or an estate auction.